Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
organizing the empties. That sober.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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