And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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