Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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