when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
