i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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