no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
