I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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