dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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