I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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