Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
