In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
