it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
