We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
