Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
