i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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