I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
