Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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