You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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