i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
