so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
