Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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