I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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