I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
