Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
