I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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