My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
