yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
my liver is dry heaving
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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