dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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