i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
