But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
