A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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