Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
