Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
