out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
