Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sober January is a disaster.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
