i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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