You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
