You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
