do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
