so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
