yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
