Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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