better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
