Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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