Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
