Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
