You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
