id be glad to
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
