i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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