I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
