Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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