She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
