that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
