I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
