I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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