Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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