That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
