Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm sobbing to NWA
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
