theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
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By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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