she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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